Parenting Issues

I read an interesting article by David Brooks, the conservative, but reasonable columnist for the New York Times. He discussed a book, Unequal Childhoods, by Annette Lareau. She is a sociologist who has written about how parenting style influences the behavior children when they become adults. While, it may be oversimplification to generalize, the article discussed how working class parents raise their children compared to upper-middle class parents. .

Working class people tend to think adulthood comes soon enough, and make a sharper boundary between childhood and adult life. Children of working class people tend to be more relaxed, with less whining. Parents tend to give orders, without discussion.

On the other hand, upper-middle class children seem to involve their children involved in many “adult-supervised activities” (thus, for example, we have soccer moms). Children are given choices, and there is a lot of discussion, even arguments, which turn into battles, on what is to be done. However, from this children learn how to talk to adults, and how to navigate in an adult world.

The final outcome? Well although the child’s world in the upper-middle class life is turbulent, as adults, the children seem better prepared for life. They are better able to compete in the world. The children have higher expectations and demand more, whereas the children of the working class parents seem to be less able to compete. David Brooks concludes. “ …. Today’s rich don’t exploit the poor; they just outcompete them.”

I am not sure I agree with Brook’s conclusions. Certainly the availability of a college education is vastly different between the rich upper-middle class and the working class. If it is going to cost $40,000 to $50,000 to send a child to college, obviously a child of a working class parent may well have lower expectations than a child of an upper middle class parent. Nevertheless, there may be something to be said for raising children in an environment more in tune with teaching children at an early age how to interact in an adult world.